20 Questions Nobody Asks with Chapel

On September 1st, 2018 I climbed into Chapel’s touring van at the Emerson Theater in Indianapolis, Indiana and asked them 20 questions that they wouldn’t typically hear from an interviewer. To say the least, they were ecstatic to be answering something different from what is usually asked.

“You’ve just opened your phone, what’s the first app you visit?”

Carter: Oooooh!

Kortney: Ummmm

Carter: Hold on, let me actually do it.

Kortney: I would say Instagram, probably. I am an Instagram kind of girl.

Carter: Uh, Twitter boy.

Kortney: He’s such a Twitter guy.

Carter: Second place is HQ. Have you played it? Do you know what that is? It’s a trivia game where you win money. Okay so those two, all the time.

“Would you rather be the best player on the worst team, or the worst player on the best team?”

Kortney: Worst player on the best team, because then you’ll only get better!

Carter: Best player on the worst team, so I can feel so good. I want that, because I was always the worst player on the best team. I just wanna be the best!

“How did you discover Santa Claus isn’t real?”

Kortney: Oh my God! Santa story. Fourth grade, a little late in the game. It was me and all my friends, and they’re sitting there and I was like, “Nah, dude. Who do you think puts all the presents there?” and they were getting so mad at me and laughing at me and I felt so embarrassed and I went home and told my mom I was like, “Mom, you would never guess what these kids were telling me.” and then she was like, “Oh honey, unh uh. He’s not real.” and I cried!

Carter: Uhhh, what did I do? You said fourth grade was so late. So twelfth grade-

Kortney: Shut the fuck up!

Carter: No, it was sixth grade and it was like, uhm, I was at a new school and my art teacher was like, “Yeah, and I mean ya’ll know that Santa Claus isn’t real.” and  I was like, “What the fuck?”. I went pretty long without knowing.

Kortney: That’s so sad.

Carter: It’s cool.

Kortey: I feel like it should be a parent thing for sure.

“If you were to make a YouTube video about what you know most about, what would it be about, and you can’t say music.”

Carter: Oh, well, I don’t know anything about that.

Kortney: I would probably make, like, a hiking/wood/mountain lady, how to survive in the wilderness video.

Carter: Oh, yeah, that makes sense actually for you. She’d kill that.

Kortney: I’d fucking love that!

Carter: I would, uhm, I think I know too much about YouTube drama, so I think I would just make a video about that.

Kortney: And memes, and vines.

Carter: That’s all I really know. That and movies and stuff. That’s it.

“What’s the nicest thing you’ve ever done for someone you didn’t know?”

Kortney: Oof. Oh man. Well, I am pretty great, so that’s a lot of things I guess.

Carter: No, I mean, you do do a lot of nice things for, like, random people.

Kortney: Just the first thing that came to mind, I guess, is a couple of shows have sold out and people have tweeted us like, “Oh, there’s no way to get into the show.”, and all their plans are ruined and they’re sad, and I’m just like, “Girlie, I’ve got you. I’ll get you on the guestlist. No big deal!”

Carter: Mine is not nice to what I did to someone, but it was nice for the server, so like one time we were at a restaurant and we sat at this table, and this group that were being assholes and were like, “This my fucking spot!”. We were in a hip part of North Carolina, which is like, not a real thing. Then, uhm, they got up and they were dicks the entire night and they left and I went over to their table and I just scratched out whatever they wrote for the tip and I just made it, like, $60.

Kortney: That’s amazing! Awww.

Carter: That’s fucked up, though.

Kortney: It’s kind of fucked up, but it’s like, karma.

Carter: It’s fucked up, but it was nice for the server because they had to, like, deal with it. I’ve never done that to anybody else. I was young, it was like last week. I’m just kidding, it was a couple of years ago.

“At what job do you see Donald Trump best fit?”

Carter: Oh my God.

Kortney: Dishwasher, for like the shittiest diner.

Carter: He talks, a lot. He’d be good at, like, the gym, because I worked at the gym. He’d be good at, like, folding towels and having to talk to people.

Kortney: He’d also make a really good coal miner, I think. Staying underground. Out of sight. Digging for money, below the Earth’s surface.

“Think of any person on this Earth right now, who do you think of?”

Kortney: My Girlfriend.

Carter: Oh no. My ex. Wait, I didn’t mean to say that! I didn’t mean to say that!

Kortney: Oh! I love it! That’s honest!

Carter: Hot take! Not honest! I don’t know! That’s so sad. Or like, something cooler. Uh, fucking, uh, Beer.

“How many of you Facebook friends do you actually hang out with?”

Kortney: Hang out with? Four, I think? Not including family.

Carter: Oh, are we not including family? I hang out with my family all the time. They’re like, my best peeps. Uhm, I think I only hang out with ten, that’s it. Half are family, and half are, like, Kortney and Big Mike.

Kortney: Aw, Big Mike!

“Do you have any stickers on your laptop, if so, what?”

Kourtney: On my old laptop I had a bunch. I worked at a skate shop before, so I had like a bunch of cool skating stickers. Some band stickers, some drum stickers. Like Vic Furth, what’s up!

Carter: Yeah, send those sticks! Come on, dude! I have to keep on buying those sticks all the time, Jesus!

Kortney: Lots of bands I liked at the time!

Carter: I just had a Monster logo because I was sixteen and fucking edgy. That’s it, and then after that I didn’t put stickers on it because I felt dumb.

Kortney: I’m a sticker person, I love stickers.

Carter: Yeah, they’re actually cooler now. In 2011 I did dumb shit and now my little sister Maddie, she has a Schmidt sticker on her laptop, and The Office and stuff, and it looks cool.

“Have you ever given money to a street performer, if so, what were they doing?”

Carter: Oooh! No! God I feel like a dick. We’ve seen a lot of street performers in Europe and I was like, “That’s great! Cool! See ya!”

Kortney: Yeah, there’s a lot in Europe. I feel like I’ll only tip a kid.

Carter: Kortney, what the fuck!

Kortney: I feel like if there’s a cute little kid who’s out there by himself. A kid who has the balls to get out there and do it themselves. That’s awesome.

Carter: I think I tipped someone who did magic one time, like, five years ago when I was at a football game.

Kortney: See, the magicians always get the most people. So they get enough money.

“Have you ever accidentally dialed 911?”

Carter: Oh yeah.

Kortney: Nooo, actually.

Carter: I did when I was a kid. Not accidentally, I purposely did, but it wasn’t an emergency.

“Have you ever lived with a roommate that you didn’t get along with?”

Carter: Yeah, we both did. Not each other! Who was it? Well, I’ve had two.

Kortney: His name was Michael.

Carter: My first college roommate, Chris, he was fucking horrible. I always feel like it’s the first roommate who is the worst one.

Kortney: Yeah! My first college roommate was awful too.

Carter: Awful. I feel like it’s because you’re learning how to be on your own. We had a roommate who just lived in a completely different world, he was just kind of fucking weird.

Kortney: He had, like, propaganda all over the walls. He was very intense. He had kayaks, like, on the couch. On the fridge sometimes. Everyday we’d come home and there would be a new kayak somewhere in the house. We’d be like, what the fuck dude?

“Put your phone on shuffle, what is the first song that plays?”

Kortney: Ooo! Surfer Blood, I Can’t Explain. That was bomb, it’s a great record.

Carter: Goner by Twenty One Pilots. So, I’m a stan. Hot take. Can I shuffle my iTunes too, because I don’t buy stuff from there anymore, so it’s everything from 2011.

Kortney: Let’s go, let’s go!

Carter: Shuffle.

Kortney: Taking Back Sunday!

Carter: Cute Without The “E”, Acoustic! Why do I have that!

Kortney: I was hoping it would be Flo Rida.

Carter: Dude, I fucking wish. After that was Never Say Never by Justin Bieber.

Kortney: So that explains Carter.

“You just walked into a bookstore, which section do you go into first?”

Carter: Uhm, the CDs.

Kortney: Probably biographies. I’ve been a sucker for biographies here lately, or like, memoirs. I just finished Travis Parker’s book, it was sick.

Carter: What books do I like? Do I read?

Kortney: I don’t think so.

Carter: I’m down for like, weird books about the body or conspiracy books.

“What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?”

Carter: “Oh fuck, I think the vans broken.”

Kortney: It was probably, “Oh shit, I’m only getting five hours of sleep.”

“What’s the last amusement park ride that you rode?”

Kortney: Oh my God, I love amusement parks. Carter is the dad who holds all the coats.

Carter: Yeah, I don’t do roller coasters.

Kortney: Have you ever been on one?

Carter: Yeah.

Kortney: So strong!

Carter: Oh, wait! The last one I think was Tower of Terror.

Kortney: I’m going to say Top Thrill Dragster at Cedar Point.

“If you could paint a picture of any scenery you’ve seen before, what would you paint?”

Kortney: The Swiss Alps, that’s my answer, or a beach! Or, like, underwater.

Carter: What about your hiking spot? She has a hiking spot she takes all her victims to.

Kortney: All my victims!

Carter: It’s a long hike!

Kortney: It’s a beautiful spot.

Carter: My neighborhood in 1994. I’m nostalgic! Wait, not ‘94!

Kortney: Yeah, you were two!

Carter: Yeah, ‘98, sorry!

“What’s a worse feeling? Failing or never trying?”

Kortney: Never trying! You have to fail to learn. You have to fail to get there.

Carter: They both suck.

Kortney: They both definitely suck.

Carter: Never trying sucks ass, honestly.

Kortney: If you fail, most of the time you know why you did and then next time you more than likely won’t.

“If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future, or anything else, what would you want to know?”

Kortney: Will Taco Bell ever be healthy?

Carter: Will I ever be happy?

Stream Chapel’s new EP, Sunday Brunch, on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/album/0SGhKk3aU13ppm7LS3qpmG?si=Di2FMVwEQNqOgJ3t9E71ug

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